It's hard to explain what has happened here at our house over the past few months.  The best way to describe it is to say our hearts have been ripped from our chest and placed into the hands of three tiny humans.  I would be lying if I didn't admit how often I think of their departure to reunification in the future.  It literally knocks the breath out of me.  Yet, it is what we are working towards.  It is what we support as foster parents.  All children should be given the opportunity to be with their biological parents.  It is the way Christ designed the family to be.

I read a blog post recently of a foster mom who described herself as the other woman in a maternal sense.  She was the one that was relishing in the baby snuggles and the giggles in the present while the birth mother was on the other side, overcome with grief of her missing children from her home.  It struck a cord with me. 

In this moment, I am the other woman. 

The loss and pain of this situation is not lost on me - but, I am still completely invested in each of the tiny, precious moments I spend with these children.  While all the while, I know that I one day too will be on the other side of this moment.  My heart stricken with grief, missing the sweet souls that for a while filled my home. 

This life is fleeting.

I always feared living a life of mediocrity.  The simplicity of the day to day wasn't something I thought I wanted.  Now, it is what I strive for.  I have reached a place in my life where each day is not my own but instead, it belongs to the Lord.  These moments I am living are fleeting; and if my life is meant to a collection of fleeting moments that the Lord himself has ordained then I welcome the temporary. 

Living in the temporary and the uncertainty of the future over the past two months has brought me tremendous stress but it has also delivered to me the greatest earthly joy I have known.  It is time for me to allow myself to be in this moment - however fleeting it may be - without fear or dread of the uncertainty of the future. 

It is time for me to simply be.